WHY DO I EAT SO MUCH?????????
i ate.. 2 bowls of pasta, 3 bowls of rice with salted fish and steam egg, 3 plums, 1 milky way choco bar, 1 loco cheese burger and chips TODAY! mental. omg.
OH, SUE ME!
when lovers meet. November 19, 2009
and once again, i get to hold you close to me and hear your heartbeat. i really really miss you..
i don’t know how’s it gonna be like without seeing you for 6 months. i need you. i’m missing you. i love you. please, someone keep me sane. baby, what will i do during our first year anniversary without you or for christmas and new year’s or even for valentine’s day or on your birthday?
i have to see you leave soon. i don’t know how i’m going to take it this time. i swear the last wasn’t good.. 
how b? 6 months. please go extremely quickly.
fear. October 15, 2009
a few more days before the dreadful day of turning a year older and i feel awfully depressed. why? that’s because what i really really wish for which is to have you here in manch with me. that’d be the most awesomest b’day gift ever.. but sadly, it will never ever ever happen.
i’m turning 22. with no aim in life. full stop. i lost one whole year because of mistakes, i cannot redo. a mistake that i totally regret, a mistake that i do not what wrong i did.
what do i do everyday? my favourite past time – eat sleep, eat sleep. such a useless piece of shit, aren’t i? i never felt so lost and empty. at twenty two, people start to rise up quickly, being successful at what they do in the real world out there, with a sense of importance to the community. comparing makes it depressing. some ppl mite say, don’t compare but i’m in a position where i’m such a useless being, it’s hard not to compare yourself with someone successful.
disappointment, a big huge word. sad when it sits comfortably right in front of you. it’s even harder to speak to your parents, without feeling a tinge of guilt. it’s an uncomfortable feeling, i don’t even know how to deal with it. all i can think of is how much they have sacrificed for me, and all i give them is a pie of disappointment splat to their face. it hurts. it hurts big time.. i don’t even know why my lazy ass does not want to do anything to overcome this.. i’m guessing it’s the possibility of fear.
i’m turning 22 and i’m scared. messed up. :’(
